attraction

Dress For Attraction

Let’s be honest. Although we dress well to feel more confident in ourselves, we REALLY get our confidence from the validation of others.

We dress for each other

The average woman will spend nearly $1600 a year on clothes and nearly $13,000 on beauty products in a lifetime -- and that’s the AVERAGE woman. Guys who are looking for an attractive woman should know they spend MUCH more than average.

Why would they spend so much money? To be simple, it’s for guys. Don’t fool yourself for one second thinking you don’t dress well for women. You’re just fortunate to not have to spend as much as they do.

I could go deeper and talk about how dressing well can get you a great job, a raise, more respect, so on and so forth, but at it’s core, people dress for each other.

How important is fashion in dating?

Now, when you look at how a woman will typically rate your attraction level, it’s broken down into three basic categories, each with a percentage of importance.

Body language: 70-75%

Fashion & grooming: 15-20%

Content & tonality: 5-10%

Most guys I work with tell me they never know what to say to women when it has little affect on the outcomes of their interactions. Their most common problem is they neglect to fix the easiest one of the those three “fixable” categories -- fashion and grooming.

Think about it. While your abilities to carry conversation or exude positive body language may not be amazing, taking care of how you present your body can give you an easy 15-20% advantage over most guys.

Dress for attraction

Let's focus on the importance of the basics of any style of clothing you choose to wear. This is what I like to call “24/7” advice. This applies anytime, anywhere.

Fit. A slimmer fit is always better. You may see a variety of fits (Modern, European, Slim, Trim, etc.). Although they are all similar, it’s still important to find out which fit works best for you.

For example, shorts should be slightly just above the knee. Most tee shirts and polo sleeves should fit between your bicep and shoulder. And seams...seams are your best friends as they will guide you to the perfect fit on most any type of shirt.

You’ll see an immediate difference in how you look in clothes.

Layering. Layering will add a new dimension to your style and shape. Here is where you can start to be creative and define your own style. 

Most guys will start their layering journey by selecting a cool blazer. Have one that has lighter fabrics (linen, cotton, etc.) for the summer and one with heavier fabrics (wool, polyester, etc.) for the cooler seasons.

Layering also reinforces the importance of fit. You don’t want ill-fitting clothes to make you look wider or bigger than you really are.

Finally, layering will give you versatility in your outfit. For example, You can wear a blazer pretty much anywhere without feeling over or underdressed.

Colors. There are certain colors you’ll look amazing in -- and others you won’t. Find out what they are by asking WOMEN YOU DON’T KNOW. Don’t ask your family or any of your friends. You need unbiased feedback to really know what’s best for you.

When I was figuring that out, I went to a store, tried on a bunch of different color shirts and asked all the women in the store what they thought. The colors they loved, I kept them and have been wearing them since.

If you want to know what colors you can wear to attract the ladies, go to the source.

Grooming. This is the easiest of all the things you can do. Trimming your body hair, showing daily, and keeping your fingernails clean and neat are all things women notice. Neglecting these simple things will dramatically affect your attractiveness and will be had to recover from.

Invest the time to take care of this part of your life that is completely under your control. It’ll make the things that are harder to control a little easier.

Active Listening and the Rewards Strategy

Guys have a hard time listening. And it’s one of the worst things that prevent them from connecting with women. 

While I was working with a client in DC this past weekend, I noticed times when conversations with women were going great and other times they weren’t.

Consistently  we figured out in the times they weren’t, he didn’t know what to say next.

This is a common issue for the men I work with. 

How Much Do Looks Affect Your Success With Women

You hear some experts say your looks have no connection with your success with women.

I’m sorry to burst their bubble but they’re wrong. Let’s take a look.

What does science say?

Many studies have shown qualities of attraction are completely different between men and women. Men are attracted to a woman’s physical qualities, while women are to a man’s behavioral qualities.

Where does biology play a role?

How to Not Be Needy

One request I’ve been getting recently is to share more of my personal life in posts like I used to back in the day.

The truth is even though my life has progressed beyond my wildest dreams, I’m always looking to understand and improve myself as a man, friend, and future husband.

Being in the relationship I’m in feels amazing. However, every day is a new day for me. The experiences I go through each day are unlike anything I’ve ever gone through. My responsibilities, expectations, social skills, and so much more are constantly evolving.

So how do I handle it all without screwing things up?

How Leadership Can Make You More Attractive

If you want to have women gravitate toward you in a way that seems almost effortless, leadership is the answer. 

You see, leadership is an “intangible” quality few men possess and women find this quality especially attractive.

But it’s gets better:

What if I showed you how to have leadership qualities to attract more women?

Read on.

5 Lessons in Getting Her Number

Get her number. And a date.Editor's Note: This piece is by Nick Notas, our Boston Wingman Strategist and Confidence Coach. You can read more of his pieces at The Dating Specialist.

Asking a woman for her number can be scary. One critical moment decides whether you might see each other again or if it’s the final goodbye.

Inner & Outer Beauty

What do YOU see?These posts are based on the reality TV series, Tough Love: Miami. I don’t comment on what happened in the show. Instead, I talk about what women can learn from each episode’s theme. You can check out my previous series here.

If you missed other posts, check them out below:

Tough Love #1: How to Create A Positive First Impression
Tough Love #2: Dating in the Digital Age
Tough Love #3: Inner & Outer Beauty 

Women will typically think men will value outer beauty over inner beauty. For the most part, women are right.

However, the men, who a woman will want to pursuing her, will be valuing her inner beauty much more than one thinks.

Tip Tuesday: Knowing Flirting From Friendly

Believe it or not, this one is a piece of cake.

Every Tuesday, we ask people from Team Wingman & Twitter what they would like me to talk about. It could be a general topic or a direct question. I’ll choose the best one and later that day, I’ll write something and give tips addressing that topic or question.

This week’s question: How can you distinguish between a woman simply being polite, and actually wanting to talk to you?

Body language.