There will be tons to talk about this season.These posts are based on the reality TV series, Tough Love: Miami. I don’t comment on what happened in the show. Instead, I talk about what women can learn from each episode’s theme. You can check out my previous series here.
If you missed other posts, check them out below:
Tough Love #1: How to Create A Positive First Impression
Steve Ward and his mother JoAnn have done something pretty amazing.
They’ve been able to take a reality show and not only make it entertaining, but also educational in many ways. The balance of drama and personal growth is something you rarely see in reality TV these days.
And it’s important to have shows like these on the air because it’ll continue to build awareness of how to carry yourself in this new digital age.
Now, let’s talk about first impressions.
You may have heard me say this before but I’ll say it again,
“Your first impression is usually your last impression.”
Quote me on that.
It is paramount to understand two things.
1. Men WILL judge a woman based on how they look and carry yourself. That’s out of a her control.
2. HOW men judge a woman is in her control.
Unfortunately, men (and other women) WILL judge a woman based on what they see. It’s just how men are. There’s NO changing that and if you can’t accept that, you’ve already lost the battle.
Don’t think it’s fair? Then place yourself in a man’s shoes. Not only are men judged on how they present themselves, they’re actually more likely to be judged on what they say.
On the flip side, there are times men will forgive a woman for what she says based on how she looks.
This is not to upset you. You have to understand that’s how a man’s mind works.
On top of that, how a woman carries herself will attract a certain type of man. If you’re wondering why you always attract the “bad boys,” the “douchebags,” or even the “married men,” the reason is simple.
It’s initially what you wear and how you carry yourself.
The solution to fixing this is actually even simpler.
Release insecurities, own who you are and convey this externally.
In other words,
Display confidence.
Easier said than done, I know. But here are 3 steps to get started.
1. Pay attention to what you’re wearing. If you have the goods, it doesn’t mean you need to reveal them every chance you get.
Doing that will definitely draw a certain crowd.
Instead, wear something that shows off what you got while still leaving something to the imagination. To a man, that says, “ she’s sexy and respects herself.”
2. When walking into a room, always smile and make eye contact along the way. Having an unpleasant look on your face spells “unapproachable,” and only the guys you don’t want to approach you, will.
In fact, this simple strategy can be done anywhere you go. Walking down the street, on the subway, in line at the supermarket -- watch the difference in men’s reactions when they see you smiling.
You’ll be surprised.
Now, let’s say a guy approaches you.
3. When a guy compliments you or says something positive, don’t undermine what he says about you. Self-deprecation is NOT sexy.
This strategy should only be used by men who are trying to be funny. If women do it, men may think they are insecure about themselves.
Instead, smile and say “thank you.” He said something nice about you. Don’t act like it didn’t make you feel good.
Not acknowledging it will make him less likely to compliment you again because you were weird about it -- which reads insecurity.
These three simple strategies will help you make a better first impression and get the men you actually want to approach you to do so.
Make your first impression the best impression.
Take your time, try each tactic separately and see what happens. Then, when you’ve seen the difference in each, put them all together.
One thing I appreciate when I work with women is they are more likely to test everything I tell them to do.
Then I love when women come back to me saying an attractive guy approached them because he noticed their smile.
When you have an open mind about finding ways to improve your dating life, you are drastically more likely to find the success you are looking for.